I think that when we talk about another person\u2019s attitude we\u2019re usually referring to something they have that drives a particular kind of behaviour.\u00a0So what is this \u201cthing\u201d?<\/p>\n
![\"belief-and-values-2\"](\"http:\/\/chief-exec.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Belief-and-Values-2-300x167.jpg\")
I suggest that attitude is a combination of:<\/p>\n
- \n
- values<\/li>\n
- beliefs<\/li>\n
- thinking styles (meta-programs)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
\u201cValues\u201d and \u201cbeliefs\u201d are terms that are often used interchangeably, so it\u2019s helpful to distinguish between them as follows:<\/p>\n
- \n
- Your values are what are important to you in a particular context. Now, while most of us would recognise abstract concepts such as \u201chonesty\u201d, \u201cloyalty\u201d and \u201cjustice\u201d as values, I\u2019d extend the meaning to include people and possessions. Their significance is that they drive behaviour \u2013 you generally pursue what you value. And it\u2019s worth noting that, defined in this way, your values aren\u2019t automatically good for you or for those around you.\u00a0For example, you may come to realise that you are driven by a need for personal recognition and that this can cause you to pursue acknowledgement to the detriment of your relationships.\u00a0As a value you might feel that you\u2019d be better off without this one!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- \n
- Your beliefs are what you assume to be true, perhaps unconsciously. They cluster around your values and either reinforce or undermine them.\u00a0So, if you believe that your self-justification, your self-esteem, depend on always being right then you will suffer the consequences of a severely limited range of responses.\u00a0In particular, you won\u2019t be able effectively to lead, coach or develop others.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
The third component of \u201cattitude\u201d, thinking styles or meta-programs, is a collection of about a dozen different dimensions of thinking. Within each you have a preference for one end of the spectrum. For example, you tend either to be motivated towards achievement of goals or to be motivated to get away from pain.\u00a0You may prefer to work with ever broader concepts or you may drill down into the details.\u00a0You may look to others to help you to form your judgements or you may be guided exclusively by your own internal standards.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s important to note that we are all capable of thinking in any of these styles if we make an effort.\u00a0Usually though we have a strong preference for one end of the range in each case.<\/p>\n
So, can you change someone’s \u201cbad attitude\u201d?<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s consider the components.<\/p>\n
Other people\u2019s values are, in most situations, to be respected.\u00a0If you look and listen carefully you\u2019ll be able to get a good idea of what they are and then you can find opportunities to put them to positive use and to avoid situations where they\u2019ll come into conflict. If someone finds the values of the organisation to be seriously at odds with their own then it may be best to accept that situation and to help them to make the inevitable choice.<\/p>\n
Beliefs that limit behaviour represent the most fertile ground for change.\u00a0You encourage this by challenging them in various ways, for example by asking the other to be specific when they voice a generalisation such as, \u201cPeople are telling lies about me\u201d. You could ask, \u201cWho specifically told lies, and what did they say?\u201d This will either reveal a genuine issue or expose a false belief.<\/p>\n
You can do this with integrity and without manipulation because, in the end, the individuals make a choice for themselves.<\/p>\n
With practice you can easily detect people\u2019s preferred thinking styles and accommodate them.\u00a0So, if you\u2019re explaining your ambitious plans to an \u201caway-motivated\u201d person, expect them to raise objections and to look for problems.\u00a0That\u2019s what they do.\u00a0 You might talk about their problem-solving expertise and how much you\u2019re going to need their help.\u00a0That will appeal to them far more than the promise of future glory.<\/p>\n
Finally, it\u2019s important to remember that even the labels I\u2019ve been using (values, beliefs, thinking styles) can lead you into the trap of thinking about the underlying mental processes as if they were immutable characteristics of a person.\u00a0Keep this in perspective and anything\u2019s possible!<\/p>\n
How\u2019s your attitude now?<\/p>\n
By David Rawlings<\/em><\/p>\n
\n![\"rawlings-vb2\"](\"http:\/\/chief-exec.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Rawlings-VB2-300x119.jpg\")
Email: david@changeworkcoaching.com<\/em><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
You’ve probably heard the advice, \u201cRecruit for attitude, train for skills\u201d.\u00a0 It\u2019s a warning against selecting someone on the basis of their exemplary technical or professional abilities only to find them \u201cdifficult\u201d…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":1398,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[129],"tags":[85,111,52],"class_list":["post-1343","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-encipia-humanities","tag-behaviour","tag-rawlings","tag-soft-skills"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chief-exec.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1343","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chief-exec.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chief-exec.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chief-exec.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chief-exec.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1343"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/chief-exec.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1343\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1428,"href":"https:\/\/chief-exec.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1343\/revisions\/1428"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chief-exec.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1398"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chief-exec.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1343"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chief-exec.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1343"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chief-exec.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1343"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
- Your beliefs are what you assume to be true, perhaps unconsciously. They cluster around your values and either reinforce or undermine them.\u00a0So, if you believe that your self-justification, your self-esteem, depend on always being right then you will suffer the consequences of a severely limited range of responses.\u00a0In particular, you won\u2019t be able effectively to lead, coach or develop others.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- Your values are what are important to you in a particular context. Now, while most of us would recognise abstract concepts such as \u201chonesty\u201d, \u201cloyalty\u201d and \u201cjustice\u201d as values, I\u2019d extend the meaning to include people and possessions. Their significance is that they drive behaviour \u2013 you generally pursue what you value. And it\u2019s worth noting that, defined in this way, your values aren\u2019t automatically good for you or for those around you.\u00a0For example, you may come to realise that you are driven by a need for personal recognition and that this can cause you to pursue acknowledgement to the detriment of your relationships.\u00a0As a value you might feel that you\u2019d be better off without this one!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n