{"id":3964,"date":"2018-01-01T10:01:40","date_gmt":"2018-01-01T10:01:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chief-exec.com\/?p=3964"},"modified":"2018-12-31T17:05:13","modified_gmt":"2018-12-31T17:05:13","slug":"facing-the-future","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chief-exec.com\/?p=3964","title":{"rendered":"Facing the future"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dave Rawlings<\/em> helps get around that perennial problem\u2026\u2026\u2026.When resolution is not enough!<\/span><\/h4>\n

Are you looking forward to 2018 in hope and anticipation or in fear and trepidation?<\/p>\n

That might depend on whether you\u2019re focused on what actions you\u2019re going to take to achieve what you want in your life or you\u2019re limited by what politicians, your boss or others might do. (Whether they smooth your way or frustrate you.)<\/p>\n

However fearful and powerless we feel, most of us make resolutions of some kind at the beginning of the year as a statement of the things we want. We might even make plans for getting them!<\/p>\n

I think it\u2019s a fairly safe generalisation to say that New Year\u2019s Resolutions mostly comprise things that you feel you \u201cshould\u201d do rather than things that you wholeheartedly want. After all, if you really wanted to do them you probably would have by now. Giving up smoking, cutting down on drinking or getting more exercise are typical of resolutions that you\u2019ve made many times before (and not just in January) but haven\u2019t been able to carry through.<\/p>\n

There can be many reasons for those past failures, such as fear of bad consequences or simply not knowing what to do to get what you want. There\u2019s also the question of motivation: how much do you really want those things? Making your goals sufficiently compelling is probably the most important part of any plan that involves changing your own behaviour.<\/p>\n

The first thing is to express what you want to have or what you want to do in a positive sense. For example, the stereotypical resolution is to give up something: smoking, drinking, over-eating, swearing etc. This emphasises what you\u2019ll be losing and ignores what you\u2019ll be gaining. So it\u2019s not surprising if you\u2019ve failed to keep such resolutions because they\u2019re all about giving up something you like with no balancing pay-off. There\u2019s nothing in it for you.<\/p>\n

The negative formulation also focuses on the undesirable behaviour rather than the desired behaviour. And it\u2019s an unfortunate truth that we do what we think about \u2013 the words \u201cdo not\u201d are edited out by your unconscious mind. So, if I say to you: \u201cDon\u2019t think about a purple elephant\u201d, what immediately jumps into your consciousness? And, if you say you want to eat less fatty food you immediately imagine eating fatty food \u2013 and recalling how tasty it is!<\/p>\n

(If you drive up the A1 trunk road through Northumberland and into Scotland you\u2019ll see lots of signs saying \u201cDon\u2019t Speed!\u201d I wonder if any research has been done into the effects of the words used in such well-intentioned instructions.)<\/p>\n

So, \u201cI want to be a non-smoker because I\u2019ll be healthier, feel better and have more money to spend on …\u201d is a strong, positive statement of a resolution.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to be slim so that I can wear more fashionable clothes and enjoy going out\u201d, is much more likely to get you through the challenge than, \u201cI\u2019m giving up fried food\u201d.<\/p>\n

And doesn\u2019t this work in the business context as well? The goal of winning or completing something is more likely to be committed to enthusiastically than one about cutting costs.<\/p>\n

A positive statement of your goal is the first component of a \u201cwell-formed outcome\u201d: a formulation that includes eight other components. It\u2019s more comprehensive than the well-known SMART approach, challenging your motivation and taking account of the wider context.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the template, in the form of nine questions:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 What are the benefits to you of the outcome?<\/span> <\/strong><\/p>\n

Express what you positively want \u2013 as opposed to what you want to get rid of. For example: \u201cI want to lead other people effectively,\u201d rather than, \u201cI don\u2019t want to feel nervous\u201d.<\/p>\n

Ask repeatedly: \u201cWhat will that give me?\u201d Until you get to the real payoff. It might not be what you first thought. For example, a desire to lead people might really be about progressing your own career. Or about making a difference in the world. Or about your own self-esteem.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 How will you know when you\u2019ve got it?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

What sensory evidence will you have? What will you see, hear and feel that will be different?<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 Can YOU start and maintain it?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Make sure it\u2019s refined so that it\u2019s something you have enough control over. It\u2019s OK if you need others\u2019 input, but take care not to express it in a way that gives anyone else a veto. For example, \u201cMy boss will appreciate me\u201d is not something that you can achieve \u2013 your boss might never appreciate you, whatever you do.<\/p>\n

\u201cI will increase my level of performance to meet the standards my boss sets\u201d, is achievable, provided you know what the standards are!<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 How does the outcome dovetail with others?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Understand how this outcome relates to others that you are pursuing. Make sure that they are all compatible. Where are the synergies?<\/p>\n

5.\u00a0 When, where and with whom do you (and don\u2019t you) want it?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Specify the particular circumstances within which you want the outcome. This helps you to create a compelling image of success and so build your belief in its inevitability.<\/p>\n

6.\u00a0 What are the benefits of staying as you are?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

There has to be something that has stopped you doing this before. As well as barriers (pain and distress you want to avoid) there are also the comfort factors inherent in your present situation. For example, perhaps part of you likes being in the background because it feels safe, and so your lack of confidence actually protects you.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s important to explore and consciously let go of these \u201csecondary gains\u201d, otherwise they will pull you back \u2013 just like they have before!<\/p>\n

7.\u00a0 What resources do you need?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Time, skills, information, opportunity, help, money?<\/p>\n

8.\u00a0 Is it worthwhile? What are the consequences? <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Check that you REALLY want it. Anything is possible provided you\u2019re prepared to pay the price. This thing might take a lot of work so make sure that it matters enough to you for you to see it through.<\/p>\n

9.\u00a0 What is your first step?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The most important element? Decide what to do first and commit to doing it by a firm date.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then have a very happy and successful New Year!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n
\"rawlings-vb2\"Email: david@changeworkcoaching.com<\/em><\/h6>\n
Headline image credit: oatawa\/Shutterstock.com<\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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